Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Lord Teach Me How to Pray

It is interesting how some sermons linger in our brains, how we grab a wee thought and dissect it and then regurgitate it and ponder some more. I have been thinking through the aspect of prayer and also the no holds barred give myself to God sermon. What does that look like, what I am holding onto, what is off limits? I think this type of sermon could be intimidating because most of us are perfect on the outside.LOL It could also be intimidating because we are in denial, and think we are perfect on the inside too. (LOL even harder than the first.)

On prayer: I am so thankful that God meets us where we are. I am trying to ascertain what I felt like as a young adult Christian. Did those who spoke well, who had an anointing and such boldness, intimidate me? Did I feel less than them, or not as powerful, did I question whether God would actually hear my prayers. Absolutely! A fancy smacy prayer with big words was not where I was. I am still not that type of pray “er”. So why do we set standards, although they are not written down or verbalized…we do as a community of believers pray in a certain way. Childlike prayers are pleasing to God, imagine a child praying and they stare in awestruck wonder in faith from the heart. They have no baggage, no history of unanswered prayers, no heartaches covered up with a tough exterior. I want to pray like that. Which brings me to …what is off limits to God?

I pray that my prayers are full of passion, that what God hears is simple faith filled childlike requests. If God calls me to do something, I pray I wouldn’t question the motive, or wonder if there was a hidden agenda. I would unconditionally surrender even the things that are hidden on the outside. I don’t want to pray like anybody else, with eloquence and knowledge and well versed. I am thankful that God meets me, Colleen where I am. I cry, I beg for confirmation, I ask for the world, nothing is too big for my God, I grapple for the right words, stumble and ask for the Holy Spirits’ leading, not knowing what to pray. But we know God hears our prayers.
I want to be willing to give up whatever God puts on my heart for the work of the kingdom. I want the vulnerability, willingness, and humbleness of the women that touched Jesus’ robe. Graham Cooke mentioned that God doesn’t talk to our heads, he talks to our hearts; that is where I evaluate my service. Is it no holds barred, is my heart well protected. Is my heart listening? Is yours?

I have in the past, been asked to share with an old friend, one I had not seen in over 15 years. I had a million reasons why I would not look that person up and share God’s love and the message of salvation. Over a million I would guess, including pride…or being turfed out of the house. In retrospect, that would have been fun for my reputation.

I realize now what a mistake it was, but I was a work in progress and God is patient. I ache that I limited God’s potential, He couldn’t move, I tied His hands. His magnificence could not be shared. I pray Jussi and I can continue to seek God’s will for our lives. No holds barred, I pray that there is nothing holding us back, and I pray for the women in front of me in the express line that is waiting for a price check. God is bringing the mission field to us, how cool is that?


  1. Love your thoughts friend, you have echo'd many of my own, lots that have not been verbalized in public. I love the insight into "the real Colleen", not that what everyone sees is not real, but I find the written word seems to have more depth. Like you. So glad we are friends!

  2. Dear Colleen...rumour has it that you will be leaving before we arrive. When will our paths cross again???? Who knows where the Lord will lead us in the future but I am thankful for your blog, for internet, and ultimately, for eternity! I guess the years, although they seem so long for us at times, are just a drop in the timeline for the Lord.
    I love reading your postings...bless you!