Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Stop asking why He chose me.....


I know we are live humbly within the world, and we are blessed with a wonderful home, but should I live humbly within myself? Am I thankful for all things about me that God has orchestrated? For example, I can make someone smile with my sense of humor, I can encourage people with a call, with a quick hello. I can do many things in the area of organization, in teaching, in my daily job, but do I humbly live inside my own skin? Am I aware of all that I can and will do?
Do I capture my gifts with the spirit of passion that God gave them to me in? Do I use my gifts with the enthusiasm that God knew I could if I put my mind to? Do I second guess myself and my worth instead of embracing my uniqueness? (okay even I let out a little snicker here...uniqueness is a good word for me LOL)
I am  RE - learning that God has made us in His image, He has given us our physical appearance with a little help from our parents, and He has created in us a desire to live in a way that is pleasing to Him. For many years and most likely other blog posts I have written on self image, being fearfully and wonderfully made, and yet many days I struggle with being happy with who I am.

I had a special teacher when I was a child that is retiring this week. She was instrumental in my becoming a educational aide and with my desire to see change in the area of human rights and specifically in the area of racial discrimination.  As a eleven year old kid, I was charged up to change the world, I was given opportunity to help a small boy to learn English, and I was given the opportunity to learn more about apartheid and the rights of people in other parts of the world. It was exciting, fascinating and confusing to a kid my age. Nevertheless the wheels started turning.
I could attribute my desire and passion to help the hurting and the oppressed as something she planted, but it was God who planted the seed and my teacher who watered.  Many of my family in Christ watered, tended, weeded out things that hindered its growth, allowed the sun to shine on it in just the right way to maximize growth in that season and gave me food to bloom for Jesus.
It is hard not to get excited if you are the sower watching the growth in a person, watching passions grow, boldness, commitment, and humbleness to be used for His purpose. Today as I  thought about the school year coming to an end for a dear sweet lady that fuelled my fire over thirty-five years ago, I said a prayer of blessing on her. I said a prayer of thanks to God for putting someone in my life as a young girl feeding me knowledge and planting the seed of "yes you can". Today I will reiterate the good that God has done in me over the years, pray for growth in many areas but the biggest thing I will do is celebrate who I am. I will remind myself in the coming days to not question why HE is using me for certain things, or why HE doesn't use someone more qualified, or more gifted. I will celebrate that HE chose me to make a difference in people's lives and smile at my opportunity.
Happy Retirement Miss M....may your retirement be filled with great books, travel and family.

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