This was my gift the other day. "A adoption don't ever give up" and then drawings of our familyMy heart broke as it came at a time when a friend was losing hope about a kiddo that was home and in crisis and other friends were struggling to stay hopeful after months of waiting for the visas for travel. Then I opened a FB message and another friend was dealing with the hardest thing that can happen in adoption; not able to complete.I tried not to show my emotion and if you know me that is tough. I asked what prompted her to draw this picture for me today. She said it took "forever...like a year..." for you to come and get us. In reality it was four months and then I was burdened for all the kiddos that have received books with photos and presents and how long it feels like when you are a kid and waiting on the other side of the world.A new perspective.As adoptive parents we all get caught up in "our" stuff. How hard it is to wait, how we want to nest and dream, and can only find solace in networking with others that are going through the same thing and chocolate of course.Do I love Jesus, and do I believe He is in control, sure but there was a whole lot of "why" going on when I should have been saying..ok...you have this one. In short I was trying to do it all myself. So fast forward to yesterday and the conversation with Miss G. So what did you think about when you were waiting. "I didn't think about nothing, I just kept waiting, and was getting mad at your for taking so long. I asked when you were coming and nobody could tell the answer"Imagine being an intuitive kid with a bright mind, a kid who thrives on knowledge and structure and being in control and being told, there was no answer.I wish we had known what we know now, we could have tried to make things clearer and we most definitely would never have sent presents.
So this beautiful little girl told a tale of waiting of her own and the insecurity of wondering.
She described heart breaking stories of other children going home and always looking at the car when it drove in to see if the car would bring "her mommy and daddy".
Four months to a kid is a year...four months was hard for us, four months for her was frustrating and she said many times she gave up. She even told herself that maybe there was a mistake and we were not coming. We talked about wanting to go back to her community and what she knew. She very firmly said no, she didn't want to go back, she wanted to be part of our family.
So as we watch home video, get pictures together and plan a one year anniversary video, because my girls love watching themselves, we realized that this year has brought us so far, it is a miracle.
If I would say my thought on "never giving up" post adoption it would be; will we ever be normal...nope...normal is a setting on the dryer. We didn't settle for normal, and we got fabulous! We have an amazing life with two littles that has exceeded our wildest dreams and some days we wonder why adoption was put off for ten years.
It was put off because these two little beauties were waiting for us and we were waiting for them. Don't ever give up!
When your big sister has the ball and you want it...a new game is born!
and that my friends is fabulous...normal just isn't how we roll.